portada momento no

When you have to say “NO”

Oh, oh I say NO!

The time to decide what is right and what is wrong comes to all parents. To know when to say NO to children can be a difficult job for parents, especially if we are constantly pronouncing that word at home. Say what is right or not is very difficult. The right thing, costs more to guess it because nobody is born knowing everything, and even less, when all parents are every day in hundreds of difficulties raising their children. What’s wrong, seems (only seems) to be easier to know, and you just has to act in the way that best suits your child and yourself regardless perfect parents stereotypes around.

But to understand our children NOT to do something when you see that they’re having fun… That time is really difficult because you know verywell that a tantrum, crying shouts, and sad eyes are coming because you, “oh mother / father inconsiderate” you have not let him still enjoying something that he was doing (wrong). The “NO situation”, that intense “NO” you sometimes vocalize and almost shout it with a typical negative effect (although inside yourself you’re saying ouch! It really doesn´t matter for me that my kid stay playing five more little minutes)… That one, often hurt more parents than children, but must be said.

The Situation (creating the environment)

19h and it’s time to go home, but your child does not want.  You´re hopping that he by himself want to go home but the park, with those shapes and colors will encourage him to stay longer.

19h30min now is your time. You are comfortable chatting with other parents and do not mind that little bit more happiness for your #crazykid.

20h Now is the time.  It’s time to go, to bathe, to try to calm him after the rush that he has after playing in the park; time to dinner, by the way, today for dinner we have beans, something you know he/she does not like and that will take more than an hour to eat it .

20:30h You’re still trying to get your child off the park, with the level of anger rising and the little “angel-devil” crying because he wants to swinging.

niño chillando

It is a good time to reflect on the ‘NO’ that you will probably have to say.The first thing is not to see this moment as a drama. We live in a society with civic norms and laws, with responsibilities and decisions that must be assuming as we grow up.Therefore, NO parent teaches the child not only to act, but defining a path, a style and even values ​​that will be worth it to take hold and gain self-esteem in life.

What is the result of not knowing how to say NO ?

Because they have had parents without saying no, they have been given too much freedom and lack of limits from an early age, they will not easily accepted when they have to meet these or other limits later in life, becoming people with low tolerance to frustration, rebels, and faced with the adults around them.

As pointed phonoaudiologist Paola Scheuch BuenCrecer.cl aproximately at 9 months many babies begin to crawl.With this, their world becomes huge and very attractive. However, with this little autonomy also the first dangers appear; stairs, doors, cables or other objects that ought not to be within reach. Therefore, this is the time when to say “NO” begins to be necessary in some situations, as their desires are not always safe or healthy.

From previous months, babies are able to distinguish different intonations with adults, reacting with joy, surprise or fear as the voice they hear, especially when their parents communicate. Therefore, to support the understanding of this word, we must use a clear and firm intonation, hopefully looking into his eyes, but always keeping calm, without boiling .

padre explicando NO

What we must be aware of is that it is for the good of our children and although it costs, we must be consistent, otherwise, if the child sees that with a little prodding NO can be replaced by the lovely YES (especially when there is a continuous, “mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy” to infinity). Then we will have lost all our credibility.And worse, the child that grows up this way wants to get everything he fancies by the same method, no matter nothing but their desires because, if their parents give it, how is possible the rest of the world do not it?

As children grow, we must say “NO” to establish certain limits. Getting a child to obey must be one of the priorities for parents to educate them, since these limits are essential to feel confident in the world and reach autonomy, knowing what they can do and what not .

It is not the same to say “NO” clearly, concise, concrete and directed exclusively to them, that a “do not make me nervous playing with the keys.” There are various strategies to make them understand what a NO means. For example, whenever the child wants to achieve, bite or play with an inappropriate object, you have to say NO without boiling , slowly and looking into his eyes. In addition, you have to use very simple phrases like “no, the keys to the mouth, no,” and accompany with gestures they can understand (in this case, taking the object with a smooth motion, no abruptness).

This formula, very simple at first glance, is sufficient. But there will be repeated as many times as necessary. Because, after all, what we are doing is to educate. And that requires continuous and constantly observe.

CREATIVE ALTERNATIVES TO USE NO

Children, children are. And that expresion seems to be known by everyone, is something that many adults do not take into account. The kids snoop everything, touch everything, explore everything. They have to see the world, eat, smell it, feel it … If a child does not stop moving and touching whoooole what you have in home furniture maybe he/she needs new spaces to explore.A field site, outdoors where you can leave them running can be a great alternative to a full site of NON: do not touch that, do not climb the stairs, do not run, etc…

Definitely, parents of #TheNowFamily these situations are known for all of you.Always keep confidence in yourselves and don´t feel bad for do what you should do.After all it is for the good of them. Better cry now for not be able to use the tablet than do it in the adulthood because they have to pay to have a new one …

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